We will miss her.

I was trying to think about my most memorable experience with Denise, but it's very hard to come up with one. We mostly got together and talked and enjoyed each other's company. Our boys called her Auntie Denise. We called her our good friend and we loved meeting her for coffee and to talk about music and life and relationships. I could tell her anything, and I think she felt she could talk to me as well. Oddly, she was a as close to my husband as she was to me, although differently. They also had the bond of both being composers, although of different types of music.

The things I will remember most about Denise: Her sense of humor, her dedication to composing and finally attaining that doctorate, her concern for others. When I think of Denise, I think of her laughing, or saying something funny. She was one of my favorite people to be around. Any time we had a gathering, large or small, she was one of the first people I would ask to be there.

And her music: she wrote some of the most beautiful classical music I've heard. It was definitely post-20th century, but absolutely gorgeous. Fran and I commissioned her to write us a song cycle for a concert. I'm so glad I have that from her.

I met Denise 10 years ago, when I first moved to New York. I'm grateful that I got to know her. I wish we'd had more time together. She found out she had cancer right around the time of my baby shower for our twins. She didn't tell us until after the shower, I think because she didn't want to spoil the occasion for us. That alone speaks volumes for her character. She thought of others even in the midst of her own crisis.

As I said, her cancer coincided with our boys' arrival. And since then, it has been hard to get together. She was often sick, we were often exhausted. Denise was still trying to work and we were up at all hours with newborns. That continued a long time. The history of our friendship the last few years has been grabbing a few hours here and there, sometimes with kids, sometimes without. I'm grateful for the time we did get together...I wish there had been more.

I miss her. I know we will continue to miss her. I am grateful that I had the chance to know such a truly good and kind person.

Kathleen