I have known Denise since before she was born; having first met the Broadhurst family in 1965. I grew closest to Denise after she moved to New York as we were over 6 years apart in school.
When she moved to New York I was in the middle of a legal battle. She was still a great source of support and comfort inspite of being miles away. We actually started planning my first visit before she left Minneapolis.
The whole time Denise was in New York we talked for at least an hour every Sunday; or should I say I talked. For the last 6 years I would always be questioning what I should do next at the gym. She would always advice me even though she didn't really know what I was talking about half the time. She never complained that this is all we talked about as the topic didn't interest her that much. Each new goal I complete is for you.
It is not fair that you got breast cancer in the first place as you took good care of yourself (better care than I take of myself). You were a true champion; never once complaining of the side effects of treatment or asking why me. And it is most unfair that breast cancer took you away from this world as you are/were the most positive person I have ever met.
There is so much more I could say especially about our holiday celebrations. But in an effort to keep this a reasonable length I will stop here. Just to say you are missed very much and Sunday's seem incomplete without our talk.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Girl, thanks for the groove.
I grew up across the street from Denise. From first grade to fourth we walked to and from school together. And we sat next to one another at lunch. She brought her lunch from home. I ate the school's hot lunch. Denise's meals were punctuated by wonderful German cakes and pastries. Mine were not. Denise was generous with her desserts -- she'd give me half. When her mother discovered that I was eating Denise's lunches she started packing extra delicious tidbits for me. Suffice it to say, I've been hooked on Denise and her family for 30 some years.
What luck for me that Denise called me a friend. She didn't have to. She had lots of friends. She played well with others. I ran with scissors. Plus, I ate her desserts. But she was loyal! I was empowered by her friendship. I was nurtured by her friendship. There are a lot of us who were.
I hope my daughter (who thought Denise a marvel) grows up to have friendships that empower and nurture the way being friends with Denise did me. But even more importantly, I hope my daughter will grow up to be the kind of friend Denise was. Denise let you know she loved you by how she'd listen, and share, and laugh (that true, contagious, chin-lifted, tongue-between-teeth laugh). She had remarkable patience. She was generous. But she was also always there to challenge you to get something more out of every single day or experience. And she let you know that she couldn't wait for the fun of sharing that little extra something.
At the NYC memorial, Hugh, one of the Next Stage musicians Denise worked with, and I talked. He told me how he and Denise rehearsed a particularly tough piece, trying to interpret the work, using each others' understanding of the thing to understand it more completely themselves. He described how when they finally managed to get in sync, to make the music happen, they looked at one another, big smiles all around, nodding "oh yeah!" while jamming on. I couldn't help but think what a magical thing to share in, musical collaboration.
Driving home after the memorial I realized that Hugh's description of finding a musical groove with Denise was more than just a snapshot of two musicians together making headway in song. The ideal of collaboration he described, this beautiful, recursive, non-judgmental, non-hierarchical, almost Utopian approach to shared experience so perfectly captured what I'll remember as the essence of Denise's approach to our collective time here together on Earth. She was always up for the effort of getting a groove on -- and she hoped we were, too.
To Denise: Thanks for dessert. Thanks for the groove. All my love, hf
What luck for me that Denise called me a friend. She didn't have to. She had lots of friends. She played well with others. I ran with scissors. Plus, I ate her desserts. But she was loyal! I was empowered by her friendship. I was nurtured by her friendship. There are a lot of us who were.
I hope my daughter (who thought Denise a marvel) grows up to have friendships that empower and nurture the way being friends with Denise did me. But even more importantly, I hope my daughter will grow up to be the kind of friend Denise was. Denise let you know she loved you by how she'd listen, and share, and laugh (that true, contagious, chin-lifted, tongue-between-teeth laugh). She had remarkable patience. She was generous. But she was also always there to challenge you to get something more out of every single day or experience. And she let you know that she couldn't wait for the fun of sharing that little extra something.
At the NYC memorial, Hugh, one of the Next Stage musicians Denise worked with, and I talked. He told me how he and Denise rehearsed a particularly tough piece, trying to interpret the work, using each others' understanding of the thing to understand it more completely themselves. He described how when they finally managed to get in sync, to make the music happen, they looked at one another, big smiles all around, nodding "oh yeah!" while jamming on. I couldn't help but think what a magical thing to share in, musical collaboration.
Driving home after the memorial I realized that Hugh's description of finding a musical groove with Denise was more than just a snapshot of two musicians together making headway in song. The ideal of collaboration he described, this beautiful, recursive, non-judgmental, non-hierarchical, almost Utopian approach to shared experience so perfectly captured what I'll remember as the essence of Denise's approach to our collective time here together on Earth. She was always up for the effort of getting a groove on -- and she hoped we were, too.
To Denise: Thanks for dessert. Thanks for the groove. All my love, hf
Monday, October 6, 2008
Minneapolis Memorial
Please join us for a Memorial Gathering to remember the life of Denise Broadhurst.
Sunday October 12, 2008 5pm - 8pm
at the Coffman Memorial Union 4th Floor Room AB&C
located on the U of MN East Bank Campus
Please feel free to bring your memories and mementos. There will not be a formal service - if you wish to speak please feel welcome.
In lieu of flowers, contributions to a scholarship fund, that has been established in Denise's name at Nassau Community College Music Department, would be greatly appreciated.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Not Waving
Regarding Denise's "Not Waving, But Drowning", marcelblog said in a comment that it was good before in its original performance on the ship, but "it's beautiful in a whole new way now."
I couldn't agree more, though I was never at the original performance. Just reading about the whole project, it seems evident that the piece was designed to blend into that context, with its nautical themes, etc. And, at least on the surface level, the piece stands alone very strongly that way. But her choice of that poem obviously could not have been coincidence.
Hearing her wonderfully crisp, ironic declamation, I smile a bit thinking she's sort of channeling Laurie Anderson. And then: "I was much further out than you thought."
::complete loss for words::
I couldn't agree more, though I was never at the original performance. Just reading about the whole project, it seems evident that the piece was designed to blend into that context, with its nautical themes, etc. And, at least on the surface level, the piece stands alone very strongly that way. But her choice of that poem obviously could not have been coincidence.
Hearing her wonderfully crisp, ironic declamation, I smile a bit thinking she's sort of channeling Laurie Anderson. And then: "I was much further out than you thought."
::complete loss for words::
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